What is Interpersonal Relationships ?

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP SKILLS

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP MEANING

Interpersonal relationship skills are the soft skills or life skills we use every day to interact with other people, both individually and in groups. Interpersonal communication is the process by which people exchange information, feelings, and meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages. It is face-to-face communication, and is not just what is actually said but how it is said and the non-verbal messages sent through tone or voice, facial expressions, gestures and other body language.

IMPORTANCE OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP SKILLS

These skills help us to relate in positive ways with the people we interact with. This may mean being able to make and sustain friendly relationships, which can be of great importance to our mental, social and professional well-being.

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

Interpersonal relationship needs to be maintained with a wide variety of people, for example:

• Parents
• Spouse
• Children
• Family members
• Students
• Teachers
• Neighbours
• Co-workers
• Bosses

While dealing with different sets of people, different skills are used as per the situation.

USES OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP SKILLS

We engage in some form of interpersonal communication on a regular basis. How well we communicate with others is a measure of our interpersonal skills.
We use these skills to:

• Exchange information;
• Establish contacts and maintain relationships;
• Express personal needs and understand the needs of others;
• Give and receive emotional support;
• Make decisions and solve problems;
• Anticipate and predict behaviour; and
• Influence the attitudes and behaviour of others.

FACTORS AFFECTING INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

Mainly there are three factors that affect interpersonal relationships:

• Attitude
• Prejudice
• Stereotype

ATTITUDE

The following elements of attitude play a vital role in interpersonal relationships:

• Object-based: We form our attitudes directed towards a person, a group, an event, religion etc. We form specific opinions and behave accordingly.
• Direction: We could have a positive or a negative approach.
• Stability: We could be highly stable in our perception or be flexible as per the demands of a particular situation.
• Motivational properties: In certain circumstances we could be ready to act in a particular way, and act differently in another situation. What motivates us to act in a certain way differs from person to person, and from situation to situation.
• Learnt behaviour: We are not born with specific attitudes. We learn to have a certain attitude through our experiences with people and environment.
• Manifestation as behaviour: Our attitudes are manifested in our behaviour. They lead us to behave in a particular fashion as attitude and behaviour are closely linked with each other.
• Components of attitude: Attitude has three important components:
• Cognitive: beliefs, value systems.
• Affective: pleasant or unpleasant feelings, attraction or aversion.
• Behavioural: actual behaviour in relation to a person or an object – positive or negative.

These three components have to be in harmony with each other. Any inconsistency causes tension and anxiety in all concerned.

PREJUDICE

Our prejudices (unfair or unreasonable opinions) are crucial in the formation of attitudes:

• Biased attitude: We prejudge people based on unfair and unreasonable opinion or feeling in respect of religion, race, colour, nationality etc. We do so without having sufficient knowledge and it is based on limited experience.
• Sources of prejudice:
• Socialization practices: based on imitation of elders.
• Personality characteristics: categorizing people as black and white, or being for/against people.
• Inter-group conflicts: majority vs minority in terms of numbers, hostility or friendliness.

STEREOTYPE

We stereotype people, and are unwilling to change our opinion. We do so as follows:

• Over-generalized beliefs: categorizing individuals and groups on account of pre-conceived notions, e.g. Asians, Jews, politicians.
• Resistance to change: being adamant and refusing to change.

HOW TO ACCOMMODATE DIFFERENT STYLES

We deal with different types of people and different styles they adopt in their relationships. In order to accommodate these differing styles we generally need to do the following:

• Arrive promptly for any meeting or programme;
• Pay very close attention to deadlines;
• Do not procrastinate or make excuses;
• Be organised;
• Be open-minded to others’ ideas;
• Be attentive;
• Show interest;
• Smile and be friendly; and
• Share personal experiences.

Given below are the methods we can use to deal with different styles:

“HANDS-ON” STYLE

• Accept structure;
• Try to do things in an exact and precise way;
• Minimize discussion – get to the task;
• Do things in sequential and orderly steps;
• Discuss and show practical applications;
• Demonstrate to illustrate an idea or point; and
• Allow for “hands-on” project-type tasks.

“THINKER” STYLE

• Use outlines, charts, graphs, and spatial mapping to show information and the relationship of ideas;
• Provide idea;
• Provide documentation;
• Be open to the use of abstract explanations and terms;
• Support information with facts;
• Support views and opinions with logic and evidence;
• Focus on main ideas, related details, and logical conclusions;
• Be open to topics that allow for debate;
• Be patient with quick and sudden moves from idea to idea; and
• Allow for research-type ideas.

“EXPLORER” STYLE

• Allow room for creativity and innovation;
• Relate ideas to the real world;
• Focus on processes and applications rather than facts;
• Be willing to take a risk or to investigate;
• Be patient when they jump from one idea to another; and
• Be willing to discuss ideas.

“FREE THINKER” STYLE

• Use gestures and positive body language;
• Use humour;
• Be sincere;
• Use images, pictures, and colour;
• Apply personal meaning to ideas;
• Show how ideas and details apply to life;
• Show interest and concern for people;
• Avoid questioning or challenging the person’s insight or logic;
• Be patient with interruptions;
• Be open to metaphoric language and expression;
• Don’t force structure – allow room for flexibility; and
• Allow for interactive-type tasks.

CONSEQUENCES OF INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

The way we develop our interpersonal relationship skills affects our attitude and behaviour. If we are able to enhance these skills we become aware of the following:

• Liking: We make an effort to like people, things and ideas even though we were initially reluctant to do so.
• Understanding: We start understanding that all the people are not the same. They have widely differing ideas, attitudes and patterns of behaviour, and we learn to deal with them in a positive frame of mind.
• Trust: Understanding takes us closer to building trust – in people, in ideas, in approaches. Trust is the backbone of any relationship – personal, social, professional.
• Direct and indirect contact: Sometimes we have direct contact with people and at other times we have indirect contact. It means we hear about people and their attitudes through others, and form opinions based on hearsay. What we need to do is verify ourselves before taking up a position either way.
• Awareness of our biases: We introspect and think logically – not emotionally. This makes it possible for us to be aware of our own biases, and we need to take steps in order to overcome them.